A long distance relationship can be fun and exciting. But one of the hardest things about a relationship that is played out over a long distance is the lack of closeness and intimacy, which can lead to cheating. It can be more difficult to spot cheating in a long distance relationship, as the lack of closeness makes it harder to monitor the behaviour of your loved one. But there are a few signals to watch out for – here are some warning signs that your long distance relationship could be breaking down.
If your partner suddenly becomes unavailable, or changes their pattern of availability, it could indicate that they are cheating. If you usually keep in touch with phone calls every day, but the phone calls drop off to the occasional text or e-mail, it could be a warning sign, especially if you try to discuss their sudden unavailability and they become defensive.
Absence and avoidance
Most couples spend time together over the holidays, such as Christmas and New Year, and when they have extended time off work. But if your partner suddenly needs to go on a business trip during the holidays, or if they are just not around during the holidays without any apparent explanation, it could mean that they are spending their time with someone else. If your partner avoids picking up their phone when you call, or if they “forget” to text you back or call you at the agreed time, it could mean that their attentions are focussed elsewhere on someone else.
If you and your partner had made plans to see each other over the holidays or on a long weekend and they suddenly cancel those plans when they have never cancelled plans before, without a good reason, it could indicate that they want to spend time with a new partner.
One Sided Visits
Are you the one who hosts all of your visits? Does your partner always come to visit you? Have you ever gone to visit them? If you haven’t gone to visit them and if no invitations are forthcoming, it could mean that your partner has a new partner in their new city, or they may have been cheating on you and they don’t want you to come to their city in case you discover their secret.
Gives You More/Less Attention
If your partner starts to spend more or less time and attention on you than usual, it could indicate that they are cheating. Partners who lavish their other halves with more attention, in the way of more gifts, phone calls or visits, could be overcompensating due to guilt because they have been cheating. Partners who give their other halves less and less attention, for example, fewer phone calls and fewer texts, could be lavishing their attention on someone else.
Starts to Pick Arguments
If your partner used to be very loving and then begins criticising you or your relationship, constantly picking fights and arguments, it could be an indicator that they are cheating. This is because if they pick fights with you and you have arguments, it makes them believe that they are the victim in the situation, giving them “reason” to cheat on you.
If you used to be very open in your relationship and shared things like passwords or Facebook accounts, and your partner decides to change their passwords, hiding information from you, it could mean that there are things within their e-mail or social networking accounts that they don’t want you to see. One key sign of cheating is if your partner won’t agree to show you as their partner or husband/wife on their social networking accounts – this could mean that they don’t want their potential new partner to know that they already have a partner.
Has New Hobbies
If your partner starts going out much more often in their new city, or if they start discussing topics and hobbies that were of no interest to them before, it could mean that they are cheating. Equally, if they start discussing one particular person more and more, it could mean that that person is more than just a friend.
If your partner refuses to discuss who they have been spending their time with, or says something like “I went out with some friends”, without disclosing the sex of their friends or any other information about them, it could be because they don’t want you to become suspicious about their cheating.
You need to look at your partner’s behaviours if you suspect them of cheating. If they behave in a completely different way, or if they become a completely different person, it could mean that they are cheating.